


Infinite Finites

by Heatherdrawings



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-06-24 10:30:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19721854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heatherdrawings/pseuds/Heatherdrawings
Summary: Days after the effects of Damen's wounds, Laurent begins to realize how his emotions start to affect him.





	1. Letting it go is not an option

The nights were always cold for Laurent. Despite being in Akielos, he found that a part of his soul chilled him to the bone. The hot nights and even hotter days did nothing to warm the cold loneliness and guilt that he felt inside him. 

It had now been a few days since Damen was wounded by his brother, and he had yet to wake up. The doctor did all he could to stitch up the wound and dull the pain—if he could even feel pain in his current state—but there was no sign of him waking up anytime soon. 

Laurent tried to keep his mind occupied, he had usually been the type to always keep his head in a situation like these, even after his brother died he managed to put on a brave face and grow up much faster than he would have liked. But now, it was much harder to stay busy. His mind kept wandering back to Damen. He was alone in that room. A nurse would drop by every once in a while to clean the wound and re-fluff his pillow, the cooks would come by periodically to change out the food left by his bedside in case he might wake up with a ravenous appetite. He truly was well liked in his kingdom.

But none the less, one thought would lead to another, and then another, and soon the only thing Laurent could think of was Damen. He’s hadn’t come into his room since the doctors invaded his room to hastily mend the wound, he hadn’t had the stomach for it. He just paced around the doorway to King’s chambers and occasionally would face the doorway completely still, almost as if he was contemplating going inside. 

But he never did. A few days had past—three maybe? No, four... he couldn’t remember. It wasn’t like he had slept through any of them. Most nights he would sit outside Damen door in silence. 

Many servants had told him that it may take weeks for him to wake up, if at all, and it would be best if he tried to live a normal life. Laurent remembered snapping at them for saying such a thing. Of course he would wake him. He is Damen after all, how could he not? He had survived much more than a mere stab to the gut! Or at least that’s what Laurent told himself. But deep down he knew there wasn’t a good chance that Damen could survive a wound like this.

But he kept his hopes up, and eventually left his post at Damien’s door. He had taken on some responsibilities that the King of Akielos would have and tried to help it get back on its feet. After all, it had just lost its king, and their new one was currently fighting for his life. And at least it made a decent distraction for Laurent. 

Over and over he told himself he didn’t need to think about it, that he needed to just focus his mind on something else. At least, until he woke up...if he woke up...

But the sleep deprivation and overworking soon started to take its toll on Laurent and he soon found himself outside of Damen’s door once again. Anxiety began to fill his mind and he kept imagining Damen alone in that room. No matter how hard he tried to push it from his thoughts, it always crept back in. What if he woke up and no one was there to see him? What if he fell out of bed and reopened the stitching? What if he died--

No.

No, he couldn’t think of that. Not right now. What’s important now is that he keep it together. For the sake of the kingdom. For the sake of Damen. For the sake of himself. 

But there he was. How long had he been standing there? An hour? Two maybe? It must have been around three in the morning. He stood there alone, staring at the dark wooden door in front of him. His heart raced as he put his hand against the splintering wood, sharp enough to prick but not draw blood. He picked off a piece of the splitting wood and turned it over in his hand.

“What are you doing,” he said softly to himself. “Stop stalling.” It took some time, starring at the door, but he tossed the splinter aside and clenched his fist slightly, his mind finally deciding to open it. 

Laurent took a deep breath before firmly pressing on the door and gasped a little when he walked inside. 

There he was. 

Laurent walked slowly over to the side of the bed and looked down at his lover’s face. He smiled a little, glad to see that at least the golden brown color of his face was still practically glowing. He was not nearly as pale at Laurent had prepared himself for—which was good. 

He sat down on a stool that was conveniently placed at his bedside and slowly brought his hand to cup Damen’s face. The soft breaths brushed over Laurent skin and he smiled. He stroked Damen’s cheek gently with his thumb and closed his eyes. 

“You’re going to be okay, I know you’re going to be okay.” He ran his hand through Damen’s bouncy locks. Despite him not having taken in a bath in days, his hair still remained as soft and as delicate at Laurent remembered. The times they slept together may still be finite, but he remembered each one and cherished it. 

Laurent silently cursed himself for not coming sooner. He feared seeing Damen like this would crush him, when in reality, it was what put him at ease. He no longer feared Damen not waking up or not recovering; he knew he would. It may take time, but Laurent was prepared to wait. 

Laurent slowly removed his hand from Damen’s cheek, careful not to let his head fall in an awkward position. He brushed his fingered across Damen’s knuckles and eventually rested them on top of his.

“I’m not going to let you go again. I promise, my love.” Laurent said, his eyes slowly becoming more and more heavy.

Damen stirred a little, as Laurent let his head fall into the side of the bed. He had finally allowed himself to sleep after so many days of anguish and fear. And for the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel nearly as cold.


	2. In and out of a haze

Damen had been drifting in and out of consciousness for about ten minutes before he finally managed to keep his eyes open. He tried to move and a sharp pain shot all through his body and he winced. He decided that laying still would be the best option in this circumstance. He looked around the room slowly, blinking multiple times when his vision started to get fuzzy. He heard a faint sound and looked to where it came from. Through his foggy eyes, he could make out a blond head at the side of his bed.

“Laurent.” He said, but he wasn’t really sure if he spoke it out loud or not. His throat was dry and sore and he would rather not try and say anything again. 

Damen’s vision soon became clearer and clearer until he was able to make out the fine details of the blond head beside him. He smiled unknowingly at the way the golden hair draped over the side of the boy’s face and stuck to parts of his beautiful pale pink lips—despite their chapped nature. His left arm was out in front of him, being used to cradle his head, while the right was gently grasping into Damen’s hand. 

Reluctantly, Damen slid his hand out from underneath Laurent’s grasp and repositioned it on his face. He gently brushed the hair from his face and tucked it behind his ear. He had always wondered how he would look with his hair tied back. Laurent’s hair had prevented Damen from taking in the full beauty and elegance of his face; his strict but gentle eyes, his prominent cheekbones, the dark circles under his eyes, Damen loved it all. 

Damen gently stroked Laurent’s cheek. He moved his hand to hold onto Laurent’s as his vision began to get fuzzy again and he slid back into his long slumber. Only this time he didn’t feel nearly as much pain as he did waking up, something about having Laurent by his side filled him with warmth and as he slowly faded into unconsciousness, the warmth followed him and he smiled. 


	3. Vulnurable

Damen very vaguely remembered what happened last night.

He did indeed remember waking up to Laurent trapped over the side of his bed, but strange enough, he had not remembered inviting him in.

Maybe he hadn’t, maybe Laurent had decided to do that on his own. Regardless, all this thought started to give him a migraine, and considering the sharp pains that shot through him every other second, a migraine was not something he had much attachment to.

Damen decided hours ago he would refrain from moving. As frustrating as that was, the pain he felt from moving was not worth it. 

But he so desperately wanted to face his lover.

So slowly and painfully, he shifted his position to face Laurent—who was now all but in fetal position on top of the blankets next to him. He was sleeping on top of his left arm while the right was clutched at his chest. His golden hair draped lazily over the folds on his shirt while gentle sunlight streamed through the open window across the room. The light danced on his hair like mist on a waterfall and brightened the soft pink of his cheeks.

He was a work of art, Damen thought. Every angle, every detail seemed like the masterful stroke of a great painter. Damen couldn’t get enough.

The immense pain Damen felt from moving slowly faded into a numbing the longer he looked at the young prince. 

The early morning sun had begun to shift its angle as it poured through the window, and Damen adjusted his position to block the light from Lauren’t eyes. All he wanted to do was watch him sleep just like this—just for a bit longer…

Damen’s hand grazed Laurent's cheek and tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear. He moved closer and soon felt the gentle breaths of his lover against his chest. It sent shivers down his spine.

He Brough his head closer to Laurent’s and rested it just inches away. This close he could see the finer details of his skin. He smiled gently and breathed out an inaudible chuckle.

Laurent stirred a little and yawned, small droplets stuck to his pale eyelashes and he quickly rubbed them away. He let out a well-rested sigh and slowly opened his eyes all the way. It took him a moment to realize Damen was staring back at him, but when he did we smiled and cupped his face with his hand.

“Morning lover.” 

“Morning love.” Damen moved in just barely grazed Laurent’s lips as a means to tease, but winced after the slight movement seemed too much for Laurent’s presence to numb.

Laurent sat up abruptly and Damen attempted to follow but instantly regretting as he clutched the wound in his stomach.

“Damen stop,” Laurent said, clear concern in his voice. He had managed to prevent his voice from shaking which surprised even Laurent. “You have to lie down.”

Damen grunted. “Normally I’d do the opposite, but this time I hate to say I think you’re right.” They both laughed a little as Damen adjusted himself to his original sleeping position.

Laurent yawned one last time and stood up. Brushing off nonexistent dust from his shirt, he returned to his original seat beside the bed and pulled the chair closer to Damen.

Damen tilted his head to meet Laurent’s gaze and a big grin grew on his face.

“What?” Asked Laurent, but Damen had already started laughing. “What on earth has gotten into you?”

Damen pointed to Laurent’s head and the blonde brought a hand up to the side of his head.

Aside from the usual knots that came from sleep was a cowlick that made half of his hair practically stand on end. Laurent hastily ran his fingers through his hair to try and mat down the strands, but it put no end to Damen’s laughter.

“Fine,” Laurent interjected. “If you’re going to be like that, maybe I’ll just cut it off. I’d been meaning for a change anyway.”

“Laurent,” Damen said. Laurent blushed and turned his head away, suddenly extremely shy. “Come here.” Damen propped himself up against the many pillows behind him. Laurent shyly moved closer. “Turn around.” And so he did. 

And before long Damen had taken Laurent’s hair in his own hair and began twisting and folding bit in an endless maze that Laurent couldn’t follow. He was lost in the euphoric sensation that came with someone else playing with your hair. He could have called asleep if it wasn’t for the occasional yank that Damen would do just to tease him.

The golden sunlight bounced off Laurent’s hair so brilliantly, it made it look like it was glowing. Streak by streak the sunlight slide down the strands as Damen moved it over and under over and under, forming a braid along the side of Laurent’s head. “Hold this.” He said to Laurent as he passed off the braided end. He moved to the other side of his head to make a symmetric style, which he tied all together into a ponytail with a loose string from the blanket he was wearing. “There.” He finally said after stroking the soft blond locks once more. 

Laurent ran his fingers gently across the braid and turned his head towards Damen. The sunlight up half of his face in a soft yellow hue and caught specs of dust as they blew across his field of vision. A small part of Damen cursed the dust specs for obstructing that beauty that was Laurent.

“Well?” Laurent said, trying his best to hide his smile, but ultimately failing. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Was all Damen could say. Laurent laughed quietly—probably a little from embarrassment—but he knew Damen meant it, which filled him with so much warmth. “Hold on, it’s missing one thing.” Damen reached across the side table and grabbed a small blue flower from a vase. Laurent knew the flower as a desert bluebell and watched intently as Damen tucked it between one of his braids. “There.”

Nothing has ever made him feel this happy, this loved. Laurent had built such a wall around his heart that he allowed nothing in or out. He felt so cold, so unloved, so unhappy…but he tucked it all away and poured himself into his work. Never before had he met anyone that could tear down these walls and make him feel so vulnerable. And never before had he wanted to be so vulnerable. 

Everything seemed to fall in place at that moment. Whatever doubts he may have had were gone—in fact, he wasn’t even sure he ever had them. He knew now that this is what he wanted. This is all he ever wanted and all he ever needed. Just him. Him and his dark brown hair. Him and his golden skin. Him and his soft lips. Damen was all he needed, and there was no way he was ever letting him go again.

At that point he couldn’t control himself anymore, tears slowly started to fall from his bright blue eyes, and eventually turned into a slight sob. Damen gave him a concerned look but noticed Laurent was smiling.

“Thank you,” Laurent said between breaths. “Thank you, love.”


End file.
